i miss when we'd all just sit at our computers and update or xanga's every three minutes

i miss when things were interactive

i miss always having someone to talk to

i miss they way we were

i hoped that one day we'd all finally get along

no matter how many fights we got into over xanga

i miss when everyone played together without going and talking about someone behind their back

i miss being friends with everyone

i want those days back

Fuck myspace

i'm coming back to xanga

you'd think that once the one you loved left you, you would just die. i mean you should right? It should just be a quick death. When the say 'i never really loved you', it should just be instant. why bother 'living' on. it's not like we're the same as we used to be. we're a shell. walking around trying to revert back to our old ways but failing miserably. smiles never sincere, just enough to hold on until you can get alone and cry yourself into a quiet state of hysteria. wanting to die and go on all at the same time. wanting nobody but needing them all at one. hating that you lost him, but being so grateful to have had him at all. this whole build up of emoions is inside you and then you feel your heart break. no, not fell depressed, or feel sad, or angry. no...this one isn't an emotion. it's an actual feeling. it's a physical pain. like nothing you've ever felt before and evrything you would avoid in the future. though i've never experience death, it would be a welcome change to this...whatever this is. why does getting rid of you and hating you hurt as much as losing you and loveing you?

yeah...you...i wrote this for you. and yeah, you know who you are

i

love

 allyson

marie

yeah right...like i do MATH in math class...

let my heart be broken Darling, because mending it will only make it harder to let go. Let me cry myslef to sleep everynight and let me want to die, because if i don't overcome this on my own, i will never know how. Because the Next time you kill me, i'll just lie down and go quietly, no fight what-so-ever. Don't pity me my Sweetheart, because your comforting words will haunt me. While a daydream they will bring an unwarented smile to my face and false hope across my mind. My hopes and dreams so connected to you. and you so connected to my fragile emotions. i will pray for you, and hope you find ultimate happiness. And i will strain myslef not to cry when you find that happiness with somone else. Let me go Love, it will be our savior. Holding on will be the end of us. Too many fights. Too many apoogies. Too many lies. So let me die My Dear, i might as well end it now.